About the Handbook:

The World of Medicine is a complex and diverse ecosystem, containing a countless number of unusual and varied species of medical staff - be they doctors, nurses or students.

If, like me, you are a medical student, then you will often explore this fascinating place. In this handbook, you will find (hopefully) entertaining reports based on each type of species that you may encounter, including tips on how best to survive and flourish in the healthcare habitat.

Enjoy, and good luck on your travels!

Tuesday 8 March 2016

The Registrargoyle

Explorers will experience a wide array of emotions during their time on the Healthcare Habitat - pride, excitement, anxiousness, exasperation and irritation to name a few - and in turn will trigger a range of responses from the doctors that they work alongside, with their underlying emotions (often overwhelmingly) apparent. This is a pretty standard rule for doctor-explorer interactions, but like the rules of any unnecessarily complicated board game (looking at you Marvel Superheroes game - you broke my skills of deduction), there are exceptions. The registrargoyle is one of these.

The registrargoyle takes its name from its face - no I'm not just writing an entry about really ugly doctors (but if I run out of ideas, maybe in the future?) - rather the constancy of its expression, as if it were hewn in stone.

Be they pleased, annoyed or disgusted, the registrargoyle's poker face is resolute (side note - logically, not a good idea to play them at poker), never once expressing any sign of emotion, just the penetrating stare of their cold, dead, oblivion-consuming eyes.

Naturally, this is fairly disconcerting for a naive explorer, who quickly becomes used to their actions eliciting responses from the doctors that they work alongside. Wary of ambush, an explorer is left on edge around the species, unable to attain any state of comfort - a factor that can damage confidence, concentration and - possibly most crucially - motor control, to the point where even simple tasks become impossible.

Taking bloods? The patient's veins seem to visibly shrink under the registrargoyle's gaze, and your hands appear to have suddenly developed extensive nerve damage, making it impossible for you to hold a needle steady, let alone stick one into somebody's arm.  Taking a history? A few seconds of supervision from the species can induce a temporary dementia, not only preventing recollection of which questions to ask, but impeding the simple ability to talk, instantly devolving individuals from high-achievers into pea-brained neanderthals.

The registrargoyle's power lies in their target's inability to read expression. Without any hint from their supervisors that what they are doing is correct, explorers begin to doubt their abilities, stimulating the effects of the species' gaze. Overcoming this can be difficult, but it isn't impossible.

One method is to ask them how you are doing directly - though the registrargoyle's poker face is rarely broken by this, normally they are forced into response, giving some insight into their satisfaction, at the cost of the patient suddenly getting very worried that you don't know what you're doing (just do what you're doing before they can interject).

Another option is to try to break through their emotional barrier. Difficult to achieve in first encounters or when contact is infrequent, but getting to know the human behind the stony facade can help. Asking them about extra-medical interests, especially common interests, will help break barriers between you, not only improving your ability to identify tells in their expression, but giving them more inclination to be friendly.

Sadly, these techniques don't always work - sometimes their deathly expression is simply due to them being truly dead inside, and no amount of conversation about football will revive them. Fortunately this is not the case 99% of the time, and explorers that make the attempt will generally find the effect of the dementor-gaze lessened, dramatically improving quality of time spent in such encounters, now and into the future.


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