The Piranhacademic

Illustration by Lynda Richardson

A while ago, this blog discussed possibly the friendliest creature to grace the Healthcare Habitat: the Studolphin. Unfortunately, not many other species live up to the standards of care and cooperation of these amazing specimens, some even going so far as to become their exact antithesis. One of such species is the Piranhacademic.

Like the studolphin, Piranhacademics are members of the student family, but this is as far as comparisons go. The species distinguishes itself by its voracious, self-centred attitude towards learning in the Healthcare Habitat, greedily consuming every opportunity that it can get into its hungry jaws (through unjust means if need be), leaving nothing but its unwanted scraps for fellow members of the ecosystem.

The Piranhacademic's origins are unclear, but it is speculated that the species originally branched off from the main student evolutionary line due to an intense drive to succeed in the Healthcare Habitat. However, somewhere along the way the race's pure intentions became corrupted, with individuals discovering that they could prosper best not by cooperating with other students, but by actively competing with them for their learning opportunities, ignoring the unspoken code of honour amongst fellow students.  

Succumbing to these dark temptations, this fallen species has devolved, to the point where "honour", "comradeship" and "not stealing somebody else's placement allocation because theirs looked boring" have become alien concepts in their soulless, uncaring minds. This makes Piranhacademics loners, a situation only exacerbated by the species treating their kin no different to any other type of student - to them they are just another competitor to defeat in the rat race of life.

Devious creatures, Piranhacademics will utilise any advantage to gain an upper hand upon other students. Normally, Piranhacademics use the simple technique of snatching up any opportunities that present themselves before any other students can get to them, meaning  an explorer in piranhacademic-infested  wards must be wary of the species creeping up to steal away opportunities. Commonplace are stories of explorers setting down bloods forms while they gather equipment, only to return to find said forms whisked away and the bloods already taken by these roguish creatures.

Others of the species can exhibit even further disregard for their comrades, with individuals known to ignore both written and unwritten laws of conduct in the Healthcare Habitat and beyond. These infringements can be minor, such as a piranhacademic taking another student's placement rotation, or major, with truly evil members of the species going so far as to steal unguarded notes or books. Though piranhacademic attacks of this severity are rare, they do occur in the modern day, and as such explorers must be cautious - do not leave notes unguarded for extended periods, especially in secluded areas, as these are hotspots for piranhacademic activity.

There must be some advantages to working with piranhacademics, I just can't seem to think of any.... Maybe if you prefer having less interesting placements or would rather not do anything all day? Nope, can't think of any. The species is truly a blight upon the rest of the student genus, but that doesn't mean that they can't be safely navigated. Explorers can best avoid harm from the species by remaining alert - a Piranhacademic will only strike when it perceives vulnerability, so by keeping your guard up, never leaving important things where they can be snatched away, and being prompt to all timetabled activities should help stave off any attacks.

Fortunately for the Healthcare Habitat, the species is a rare one, with most students honouring the code and shunning those that choose to break it. Even worse for the species, its more unethical methods of attaining superiority can draw the eye of the ecosystem's apex predators - consultants and educators. Woe betide a Piranhacademic who steals from another and is discovered, for their penance may go so far as to be cast from the Healthcare Habitat, never to return (unless they come in as a patient and need treatment - Hippocratic oath, etc. - but we'll give them evil looks the whole time. That'll make them feel bad).

The Familiar Foundling

Illustration by Lynda Richardson

As each explorer progresses through their studies into the healthcare habitat, they will doubtless become acquainted with a number of other explorers, at different stages along their expeditions - some only just getting started, and others closer to the end of their time as explorers.

It is the latter group that this article will discuss, for this group of explorers will one year be seen by their younger counterparts as fellow explorers, but by the next they will have undergone a profound metamorphic change, becoming foundling members of the doctor genus. These individuals that have been by an explorer observed as both fellow explorers and newly emerged doctors are known as Familiar Foundlings.

A fairly typical species within the doctor genus, individuals are most commonly spotted on wards, particularly on ward rounds and going about the routine tasks of the local ecosystem. Familiar foundlings can vary drastically in terms of personality and their approach to explorers that they encounter  in the healthcare habitat, with the prime determinant being their pre-metamorphosis nature as an explorer - if they were friendly and had a pleasant relationship with an explorer prior to their transformation, chances are they will remain friendly and pleasant towards the explorer post-change.

The recognition of a familiar foundling whilst on an expedition can be advantageous to an explorer in a number of ways.

1.       Having just completed their own explorer training, these individuals are the most likely to empathise with the hardships of explorer life, making them more friendly and inclusive to those trying to make the most of time in the habitat.

2.       The foundling will have gone through the same course as the explorer, giving them a better understanding of an explorer's tasks compared to a doctor that had trained as an explorer in a different location. This can be more accommodating, in terms of receiving opportunities to complete said tasks.

3.       Having a bond prior to an encounter on the ward can help both parties feel more comfortable with one another, eliminating the awkwardness of first encounter introductions, as well as providing the explorer with additional information regarding the foundling's extra-medical interests, allowing conversation to continue more easily despite both groups having run out of medical-related topics to discuss.

Of course, working alongside a familiar foundling does have its risks, in particular in terms of an explorer getting too comfortable. An explorer must remember that a FF is still a member of the doctor species at their place at work, and though many will not mind be addressed by their first name (best to find out first though), it is probably best to avoid calling them by their politically incorrect nickname, especially in front of patients or other doctor species.

At the same time, one should avoid over-hassling the foundling, for they have only just undergone their transformation and may still be feeling the pressure of life as a doctor. Being too much of a burden, particularly when they are busy, could have adverse effects on their willingness to assist and altogether weaken the underlying bond between both parties.

A friendly foundling, if treated with respect and not over-demanded, can be a valuable asset to an explorer's training. Explorers are encouraged to build healthy relations with as many senior explorers as possible, in order that they too become FF doctors in the future, thus augmenting their prevalence and increasing likelihood of these advantageous encounters in the future.

However, an explorer should aim to build bonds with not only the old but also the young, for he too shall someday undergo the transformation, and those less experienced will from then on see him as a newborn familiar foundling. With this the cycle shall be complete, allowing future generations to reap the benefits of such relations as we did before them.