The Aconsultalotl

Illustration by Lynda Richardson

When a registrar species has sufficiently grown and adapted for its environment, it will begin a process of change, metamorphosing into one of the consultant species of doctor, ranging from the fearsome Consultasaurus Rex to the caring and treasured golden goose consultant. However, on rare occasion, individuals can also undergo a transformation into one of the most absurd and bizarre creatures in the healthcare habitat; the Aconsultalotl.

The aconsultalotl, though a species that exists in a range of specialities and comes in many forms , is in essence a very strange creature. This can present in a lot of different ways, such as singing in theatre, using strange phrases and greetings in conversation or through the development of unusual fashion sense.  Wraparound comb-over hairdos, overly-stylised facial hair, gaudy ties and clothing (most especially corduroy and tweed) are trademark features of an individual who has, or is in the process of, metamorphosing into an aconsultalotl.

The process of a seemingly normal registrar transforming into a member of this aberrant species is a long one, occurring gradually over years as a member of the consultant genus. The reasons for this transformation are unclear, but it has been speculated that an individual's propensity to become an aconsultalotl is controlled by the individual's genetic make-up. The W-E-I-R-D gene, a 100% not-made-up gene has been found to be present in a proportion of doctor species, but its presentation is inhibited by the direct supervision by superior species in their speciality's ecosystem. Once a registrar advances to consultancy, they become the apex predator in their ecosystem, and the gene-inhibition is lost, thus beginning the metamorphosis.

For explorers, interactions with the species can be a perplexing experience. In the lecture theatre ecosystem, the aconsultalotl's eccentricity makes them born public speakers, with classes  taught by the species being some of the most entertaining that this explorer has ever encountered.  However, though entertaining, the species teachings can be haphazard and so explorers must be vigilant to any important points that were made light of by the aconsultalotl. Despite the seemingly light-hearted nature of the presentation, the content can be of vital importance to an explorer's training, and thus vigorous note-taking is advised.

In the mainstream healthcare habitat, it is often an explorer's tendency to be cautious when first encountering an aconsultalotl, given the peculiarity of their mannerisms. In short time though, explorers will quickly become comfortable around that weird but unintimidating species. The aconsultalotl enjoys spending time with those that enjoy and react to their eccentricity, becoming more approachable when needed and more willing to spend time providing valuable in-habitat training to any explorer willing to play along with the individual's peculiarity. Although explorers must also remember that despite the species strange tendencies, it is still a specialty's apex predator, so caution must be taken when involving oneself in their peculiarity. A surgeon aconsultalotl will not be amused if you contaminate their theatre by throwing your arms in the air whilst joining in on their rendition of "my old man's a dust-man".

In summary, if an explorer retains an appropriate level of attention to what they are to take from each encounter, time spent with this bizarre and enigmatic species can be highly lucrative - not to mention, highly enjoyable.