Student Sloth

The Student Sloth

Illustration by Lynda Richardson

The medical safari has an abundance of species from the student genu, and one of the most curious and enigmatic of these species is the student sloth. Generally docile, the student sloth is a lesser-spotted creature in the ecosystem, often as a result of the creature's disdain to leave the shelter of its own home except when absolutely necessary. The reason for this inactivity is often unclear, but experts have cited both poor work ethic and fatigue as potential causes.

However, the sloth should not to be confused with the "party animal" species, which will be discussed in a future article, for though both are often absent from the hospital ecosystem, the sloth presents with an equal level of disdain for the party animal's famed nocturnal activities. Except the consumption of alcohol, which the sloth will happily partake in, provided that they are not required to walk any great distance.

The combination of the species' lack of activity during both the day and night cycle provokes a compelling mystery as to the cause of the sloth's distinct apathy - potential theories that explain this phenomenon include:

• The secrecy theory - the theory suggesting that sloths in fact study through the night, unbeknownst to the world at large.
• The superhero theory - where the sloth is in fact a masked crimefighter, choosing to spend his nights battling evil, for the benefit of mankind.
• The screen-scroller theory - that sloth's spend many hours each night scrolling the internet, playing games and watching movies.

Sadly, the mysteriousness of the sloth's inner nature and a lack of evidence to support any of these theories mean that explorers can only speculate as to the real cause of fatigue amongst sloths (Editor note: there is actually substantial evidence in support of the screen-scroller theory, but it is much more fun to think that they're up to something a little more glamorous each night).

There can be benefits and costs to explorers who find themselves working in close proximity with students of the sloth species - their absences in the ecosystem mean for better one-on-one teaching for explorers and more opportunities to perform skills under supervision. However this increased scrutiny can be costly in certain circumstances, such as if explorers find themselves one-on-one with a Consultasaurus Rex.

Similarly, tasks requiring sloth contribution become more stressful, with the sloth's insistence on acting only in the very last minute prior to a piece of work's deadline. This is most commonly a ploy to reduce the risk of the sloth having to re-do any piece of work, and very rarely will a sloth ever leave a task incomplete beyond deadline. Explorers must remember that the best way to approach a task alongside sloths is to simply complete your aspect of the project and present this to the sloth, who will then put the work together as is their nature. This also means that explorer's avoid the arduous task of formatting separate pieces of work into one coherent project.

One final cause for concern if frequently exposed to sloth activity is that explorers can find themselves "going native", becoming tempted by the sloth's seemingly effortless lifestyle, without consideration for the sloth's ability to effortlessly pass exams. They have been habituated over the course of many years to be able to survive countless last-minute project completions, minimalist revision and extended hours dedicated to nothing but leisure. You have not. They were born to this nature, whereas you have merely adopted it, and will not last long when deadlines draw near and pressure mounts.

In conclusion, student sloths are mysterious creatures, capable of impressive feats of revision efficiency. By all means partake in their lifestyle, but do not become too engrossed, as this can prove deadly for your career as an explorer of the medical habitat.