The C.Q.Cobra

Illustration by Lynda Richardson

The internal affairs officers of the healthcare habitat, the C.Q.Cobra's abbreviation actually stands for Care Quality Control (although I'm sure there would be far more applicants to the job if they actually replaced the "control" in their name with cobras), and they are responsible for ensuring that all other denizens obey the laws of the jungle - making them an important part of the ecosystem, ensuring patient care standards and safety remain at a high level.

No species puts all other denizens of the healthcare habitat on edge quite like the C.Q.Cobra. The arrival of a C.Q.Cobra onto a ward produces an effect akin to Darth Vader's arrival into an Empire staff meeting - all those in the local vicinity enter a panic state, all the while trying not to look like they are panicked.

This is because all inhabitants, regardless of position on the food chain,  know that if a C.Q.Cobra finds something on inspection that does not meet the high expectations set by the powers that be, there will be consequences. OK, unlike in the case of Darth Vader, "consequences" are less likely to involve being throttled by an evil space wizard, and will probably be more on the lines of a sternly worded report or instruction to attend specialist training. But still, neither outcome sounds particularly fun.

Some, the more devious of the species, are even known to set traps for unwary prey, such as leaving their watches on, insisting on wearing a jacket or not wearing a name badge when accessing the ward. These little tricks are designed to ensure that protocols are followed, and can catch out those having a particularly hectic day - if an explorer notices a trap, it is a good idea to point it out to another individual - they will appreciate and remember the assist and may enable more opportunities on the ward in the future.

For explorers, encounters with the species are somewhat anomalous, in that despite the threat that they can present to other species, C.Q.Cobras pose absolutely no danger to an explorer. Sometimes, they may even use explorers to test the mettle of others, examining how individuals react to the presence or actions of an explorer and making judgements based on this.

Though they may ask a few questions of the explorer, particularly regarding how they are enjoying their time in the ecosystem (this may be a good time to mention that Consultasaurus' general rudeness by the way - vengeance can be sweet), the C.Q.Cobra is not attempting to find fault in an untrained explorer's technique - they are too busy scrutinising the other species. Still, best to avoid doing anything too malpracticey - they may not be observing you specifically, but will still file a report if you uppercut a patient in front of them.

The biggest risk to explorers occurs indirectly to the presence of a C.Q.Cobra, and comes not from the species itself, but from everybody else. With tensions running high, species can be more hostile, for fear of committing some error that could be reported - suddenly, leaving your backpack out of the way under a chair (as you have done every other time you have visited the ecosystem this week, without complaint) becomes a crime on par with grievous bodily harm, indecent exposure and mass genocide, and apparently warrants a good telling off. Explorers need not worry about being reported for behaviour, but their improper actions may still provoke the rage or scorn of the other species.

In summary, surviving an encounter with a C.Q.Cobra is relatively easy for an explorer. However, explorers must do their best to aid the targets of these predators, remembering that one day, when they have metamorphosed into species that the Cobras consider prey, it will be their turn to be judged, and they too will need all the help that they can get...